Saturday~August 30 ~ 2008

It's Love!

Friday~August 29~2008

The wind thrashes the leaden clouds across the August sky. Somewhere something is crying softly. Somewhere there is a trembling.

It is the trembling of this feeble Gutter Monkey. The soft cries are hers as well, and our hearts are torn from their boney cages with empathetic  sorrow.

We must save her. 

Thursday ~ August 28 ~2008

We have spotted yet another strange bedraggled creature. This one was making an heroic attempt at camouflaging itself among the ornamental grasses, but it was no match for Softlife's eagle eye. We lost no time and roused it with a sharp stick in order to obtain a better look. You are very welcome.

Here you can see it positioning itself for an incredibly swift breaststroke across the sidewalk and into a new hideout. We have never, in all our years of scrutinizing the creatures of this sweet earth, seen anything like it.

Wednesday~ August 27 ~ 2008

Three little rascals roughhousing in the kennel. They are plenty riled up and looking for trouble.



They had better find something constructive to do soon, because it looks like some puppy tension is building...



Uh oh, someone left their sweater in the kennel. Destroying this handsome sweater is the perfect bonding exercise for these three little hellions.



The sweater is clearly dismayed at this turn of events.











All this aggressive play is beginning to wear the puppies out, not to mention the poor ambushed sweater!



And... they are out like a light!

Tuesday~ August 26 ~2008

Two little heads sitting on a wall, one named Peter, one named Paul.




Fly away, Peter...







Fly away, Paul...









Come back, Peter...



Come back, Paul.

Monday~ August 25 ~ 2008

I'm free! Free I tell you, and it feels so good! However... there are a few practical matters to attend to before I go hog wild with my celebrating. Like, such as, the getaway...

I need an average everyday joe blow type of get up to help me pass. Heh, heh, I spy with my little eye...

Just the ticket!

Now for the getaway vehicle...

So many choices! This truly is the land' o plenty.

Oh baby! This is one sweet perfect ticket to ride! Extra bonus, these old pleasure vans are a snap to hot wire!

Sunday~ August 24 ~2008

Well hello, haven't seen you in a while. I guess today is your big Good Deed Day and you thought you would pay this sorry old jail bird a visit. You lookin' to get into heaven or something?

Well I'll tell you something, old pal, you needn't have bothered. You see I've got a plan I have been cooking up for a long while now, and today just might be the day to hatch it for real!

What I have here in my hot little hand is the golden key to freedom! Well... all right it's silver, but so what? It will still do the trick, no doubt about it!

All I have to do is wait for the right moment...

!!

Oh baby, this is it!

( freedom)

Saturday~ August 23 ~2008

This beautiful Denizen turned up at the Softlife lab today. She is gentle and radiant and we have been busy all day with the pleasurable task of settling her in. This is the fifth large Denizen to appear at our doorstep this year. The others have all gone on to greener pastures... dare we hope this one will stay with us?





We do hope she decides to stay.

Friday~August 22~2008

There is a growing concern here at Softlife. We are growing concerned. Who are these strange bedraggled creatures that are dragging themselves along the alleyways and gutters of our fair city? Where did they come from and what do the fates have in store for them? Is this the price we pay for progress, and is it our price to pay or theirs?

Thursday ~August 21 ~2008

Wednesday~August 21~ 2008

It was a dark and stormy night. As the wind chased the clouds across the heavens and the rain fell like a condemnation upon the earth, something came a-creeping, seeking shelter from the storm.

Tuesday~ August 19 ~ 2008

Today we are out on the street. Our Purpose? To document the city's most adventurous trendsetters, from the irreverent to the gritty, on these fashion-fertile sidewalks. Let's zoom in for a closer look.

Here comes a fashion forward female! She is sporting a punk-matron look, which manages to be both retro and ultra modern at the same time.

Big hair is very big right now on the street. People of all walks of life are wearing their hair enormous, and in a variety of electrifying colors.

Even the invertebrates have caught on to the huge hair trend!

This young waif has chosen a subtle, romantic interpretation of the fad.

Her pastel windswept up-do brings to mind a hip urban Cathrine searching the city's streets for her Heathcliff.

N'est-ce pas?

Monday~ August 18 ~ 2008

 The monster came without warning. It came as Indian legend had said it would come, in the night and while a storm raged. It brought terror and horror to the peaceful tundra, transforming a frigid paradise into a panic-stricken, fear-blanched hell.

The monsters icy claws reached into every home, every church, school and supermarket. No one could escape its blood thirsty savagery.

What would it take to to satisfy the monsters mad lust?

Annd... CUT!

Only through the magic of Hollywood, heh, heh.

I am an actor. An actor pretends to be something other than what he actually is for money. Actors must prepare for days and even weeks for the different roles they assume. The work of an actor is very emotionally and psychologically challenging, which is one reason the pay is so good. In some cultures actors are treated like real celebrities.

My little friend here is also an actor. In this film he is portraying the role of a severed head. The nuances of this character came very naturally to him, due to the fact that he is, in fact, a severed head. Sometimes an actor gets lucky and lands a role that seems to be made just for him.

Sunday~ August 17 ~ 2008

Let's face it, there is a lot to be sad about.



The price of gasoline, premature hair loss, pole dogs, spilt milk... it's a total bummer. Still, why wallow? Get out of the house, range around some, do something goofy!





It just might make you feel better.

Saturday~ August 16 ~2008

This Tomato Hound is foraging for her meal of choice... tomatoes! These are hard times for the Tomato Hound. Due to changing weather patterns, the growing conditions for Solanum Lycopericum have been less than ideal. We at Softlife lie awake, tossing and turning through these lonely summer nights consumed with a growing concern for the plight of these gentle herbavours.




Today our scarlet friend is in luck. She has succeded in sniffing out a solitary green tomato, not the most sucluent specimen, but certainly amply edible.




She gives it a thorough going over before consuming it...




It is sour, but good enough to eat! Today the Tomato Hound is triumphant and will not go hungry. Tomorrow, however, is any ones guess.

Friday~August 15~2008

Urban Dwelling Flatly Affected Creatures...

We're telling you, they are everywhere.

Thursday ~August 14 ~2008

 Urban Dwelling Flatly Affected Creatures...

Look for them in a city near you.

Wednesday~August 13~ 2008

 Poor baby elephant, left all alone in the nursery with no toys to play with. He is supposed to be napping, but we all know nap time is a sham for fools. How will he ever pass the time all by his lonesome?

But wait, here comes a toy now!

The curious baby investigates the mysterious plaything throughly... safety first!

It checks out OK!

It's a pretty good toy and the baby is feeling alright. Outasight!

Now look who's getting drowsy...

Happy dreaming, little one.

Tuesday~August 12~ 2008

We are delirious with fever. Our fervent visions are both beautiful and terrible. Desperation has set in and , being only human, we seek out thaumaturgy.

Unlike traditional doctors, this witch doctor will labor all day...

and all through the night to improve our disposition. Perhaps if you had provided hot soup and flowers we could have avoided this dark path.

Monday~August 11~2008

Softlife is in bed with the fever. Please return tomorrow with hot soup and flowers.

Thank you.

Sunday ~August 10~ 2008

As you may know, we at Softlife have become shameless bird enthusiasts. We have been high and low searching for our feathered friends, and today we are in the kitchen.

We know what you are thinking, but one thing we have learned is there really are birds hiding everywhere. Do not be frightened or alarmed, friends, most of them are quite friendly.

A bird in the teapot, how charming!

And off it goes!

Saturday~ August 9 ~2008

An adolescent vulture. He is young, cocky, and full of life... a real cut up.

For this young rapscallion life is but a dream and the world is his playground. He is compelled, as we are all compelled in our prime, to explore and seek his fortune.

 

 Home sweet bones!

Friday~ August 8 ~2008

Believe it or not, there are birds nesting in the more neglected areas of ordinary homes across this great country. Today we are searching for such a fowl.



What have we here?




Indeed, it looks avian! We seem to have disturbed it's peaceful slumber. All the better to see you with, my dear!




What a beauty!




Predictably, it does not appreciate our enthusiasm and prepares to take flight away from our prying eyes.








We will respect the little guys privacy and let him be for now... but we can't promise we won't return!

Thursday~August 8 ~2008

We at Softlife have decided to make bird watching our focus du jour. We feel the need for a meditative, peaceful research endeavor. A little R&R is in order.




This morning we spotted an Angora Bellied Love Bird. Let's zoom in for a closer look.





Here we can see it about to take flight...



The primary food source of this particular species of Love Bird is the tiny insects that feed on decaying forest debris.



Oh the web of life!



We were quite surprised to find that the nest of this particular Angora Belly was not in the forest canopy as we had assumed, but under the porch of a run down house. This seems to us to be a vulnerable hideaway for a bird, but obviously we still have much to learn about this small avian.

Wednesday~August 6~ 2008

Today we had the great pleasure of observing the habits of a Sap Suckling Avis Lupinus. This is a rare bird, so we count ourselves among the very fortunate to witness this seldom seen little fellow as he searched out a nesting site for the evening. Softlife is more than happy to share our discovery with you!

Tuesday~August 5~2008

The august sun is burning brightly in the sky. Inside the Softlife lab we are having vermin trouble. Something has been nesting in the storage area... something nocturnal. This hot summer day seems like just the right time to root out our uninvited guest. We will take the bugger by surprise!




Ah ha! It seems there are at least two of them burrowed into their nasty little nest.
Wake up, little vermin...we do so want to make your acquaintance.





There, now lets shine our spotlight on them for a better look.






Oh Ho! Looks like someone is getting a little annoyed! What's the matter little critter? Don't you like our big bright spotlight? No? Well maybe you should consider moving to a more peaceful location!




Or if you would rather, we can call in the exterminator!

Monday~August 4~2008

It is hard to be a little creature in a big persons world. Simple everyday tasks which pose no problem for most of us present bewildering challenges for the very small.

Take, for example, a meal at a neighborhood restaurant. For you or I this would be a relaxing alternative to cooking at home. Not so for this diminutive creature. 

Thankfully, where there is a will there is a way.

Sunday ~August 3~ 2008

This bear is in his den sleeping the peaceful sleep of the incognizant and the damned. 

Something wicked this way comes...

Prurient, licentious, nefarious deviants one and all, this band of ruinous degenerates descend on the innocent narcoleptic.

The bear rouses...

And is quickly overwhelmed by his aggressors. 

Once the victim is successfully restrained, the miscreants begin to argue amongst themselves. What is their objective?

Ah, of course. Greed poisons the heart and mangles the mind. It is wealth and power that impels this trio into malevolence. 

A sickening sight, to be sure.

And what of the poor hapless bear?

 The three scoundrels abscond into the underbrush with the spoils of their delinquency. Today justice will not be served.

Saturday ~August 2 ~ 2008

Amidst the beauty of this blessed world we live in there is a darkness. Foul hearted scavengers of the shadows twist and coil their way through our towns and cities, plying their vile trade and leaving a trail of tears in their wake. So sorry to harsh your mellow, but it is true, friends.

Here is one such fiend now...

And another...

And yet another.

In fact, they are an odious band. What harmful deeds are they plotting in their lair?

To what unsavory purpose are these sadistic tools to be plied?

 

We must not cower, nor our eyes avert. If we are to understand these harmful forces, we must give them our full scrutiny. We must follow them into the heart of darkness...

Tune in tomorrow...

Friday~ August 1 ~2008

Tomatoes! 

Tomatoes...

Tomatoes...

Tomatoes...

Tomatoes!