Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first annual Polyweight Championship boxing match!
In this corner we have the graceful and winsome Lucky Godinez, the Prince of Pummel.
And in this corner we have the salacious and flinty Tiny Macpherson, the Punishing Proletariat.
Keep it clean, keep it breakneck, and keep it coming. May the best man win!
Both of these fighters are in fine shape and appear to be pretty evenly matched so far...
Macphereson is coming in with his menacing signature style.
OH! Right in the kidneys! That's gotta hurt.
Lucky is furious now and comes back with a vengeance!
OH! Macpherson is down, ladies and gentlemen! We did not see this coming so soon!
Wait, we spoke to soon! Macpherson rebounds! He is back on his feet and coming down hard on the confounded Lucky.
The crowd is enthralled with all this furious action. Round one is over and neither fighter shows any sign of debility. It's going to be a long night, folks... stay tuned for round two.